Speaking One's Truth

A client today was struggling with the need, but also the difficulty, of ‘speaking her truth’to someone in her family.  What I mean by that is saying clearly, assertively and at the same time compassionately, what is important for her, without hurting the other, nor worrying about the possible reaction.  My take on it is, that by not doing so, she cheats them both, and complicates the relationship in the future.

Speaking one’s truth is liberating, and sadly rare.  I googled ‘speaking one’s truth’ and discovered that many people talk about how valuable and important it is to do so.  A number of blogs have written thoughtfully on this topic.  See: http://innerself.com/Reflections/speaking.htm (Marie T. Russell) and http://www.planetpinkngreen.com/speaking-your-truth-is-sexy-and-totally-organic/ (Cheryl Janis)

I have always admired people who say what they mean and mean what they say.  Who tell it ‘like it is’.  When we don’t speak our truth, what are we speaking?  A lie?  A partial truth?  What does it take to speak one’s truth? At the very least, courage, compassion, a heartfelt desire for connection or to change the way things are.  

Truth, according to the Stanfield Encyclopedia of Philosophy, is actually one of the central, and largest subjects in philosophy.  However, without getting too philosophical, truth-telling is, or should be, central to politics, leadership, teaching, parenting, relationships of all kinds, and to one’s own sense of self.

When we speak our truth, we are speaking from our heart, from our core. When we don’t, we give a false picture of who we are, and negate our authenticity.

How hard, or easy, is it for you to speak your truth?

When you do, what is the impact of that?

When you don’t, what is the impact of that?

Comments

[Marcia Dorfman]

Yes, I think many find it a challenge to speak truth to family members more than to others in our lives. Family relationships are complex and frought with old buttons easily pushed, and vulnerabilities more easily exposed. We think they see us (and we them) only as they knew us before - developing, perhaps uncertain - rather than the strong, empowered beings we are now. Thanks for commenting on this blogpost.

Marcia

[Nathalie Godbout]

I struggle with that too in respect of my extended family, siblings in particular. Odd that it doesn't show up anywhere else.